I’m tired of hearing it. I’m tired of people saying “Oh I wish I could do that, I wish I could do this”. I’m tired of people complaining about their jobs, about their relationships, about every single aspect of their lives. If you’re really unhappy with something, then make a change. Change something. It’s as simple as that. You do have that power.
The problem is that we’re stuck. We’re stuck in miserable jobs or relationships or in places that we know we’re not truly happy. Yet somehow, we keep getting ourselves back into those places over and over again. Maybe it seems easier or simpler to stay where we’re comfortable. And the more we continue to stick with what is comfortable, the more stuck we become. Deep down, we know there’s something missing and we’re not happy. Yet, we’re not making the necessary changes to bring ourselves that happiness.
The beautiful thing is that we are not fixed structures. We are human beings with this magnificent power – the power of choice. We are able to move, to change, to speak up, to decide what we want out of this life.
I genuinely understand that people have things holding them back. There are so many people out there that are struggling because they don’t have that free choice, they are being held back by the society they live in. People have hardships and struggle with things entirely out of their control.
Yet, if we step back and evaluate our lives, if we step back and really think about the decisions we are making for ourselves, can we honestly say they are the right ones? Can we be honest with ourselves and recognize the things that we are doing again and again to hurt ourselves? Are we okay with things being “good enough” or “just getting by”? Or do we want something more, something bigger?
We have obligations, financial concerns, fears. And we get stuck in these cycles – never really making that bold move to get out. It’s not easy to go after the things we really want. It’s not easy to make those big decisions. It’s not easy to differ from the “norm”. There’s a risk involved. There’s an uncertainty, an unknown – we don’t know the outcome. But I’ve learned that all of the best things in life never come easy. Achieving our goals and making our dreams come true never come from sticking to the things that are easy.
There will always be other people influencing our decisions, questioning or doubting us, trying to sway us in one way or another. The people in our lives will not always support us and our choices 100%. They won’t always understand our choices because they see things differently. We will always have our own mental roadblocks, internal struggles. Undoubtedly, we will always be able to find something – some excuse as to why we can’t do something, as to why we can’t follow our dreams and our hearts. There’s always going to be a reason why we can’t or why we shouldn’t do something.
Maybe we can’t physically make that change or that decision in this exact moment. But if we really want something, we CAN take steps toward it right now. We can realize our goals and move in the direction towards where we want to be. It may be quick or it may take a long time but we have the power to do everything we can toward making those goals a reality.
Sometimes, it’s easier to give advice than take it. And I don’t always follow my own advice – I make excuses too. But I’ve started making that effort to push toward the things that I want, to go for my dreams and my goals because I’m tired of excuses and I’m not about living a half-assed life.
Some years back, I found myself pretty lost and in a dark place for a little while. And somehow amongst that darkness, I found the strength to pull myself upward. I knew there was something missing and I needed to change something in myself. I started making changes and eventually figuring out my goals for myself and taking steps toward achieving them.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and particularly social anxiety my whole life and its something that I still struggle with every day, but I learned to understand and come to terms with who I am. During this time in my life, I started to make small steps toward overcoming some of my fears. I started recognizing the things that I wanted out of life and taking the necessary actions in order to achieve those things.
I started meditating, eating better, reading more, and exercising. I started trying new things, meeting new people, making new experiences; I started making positive choices for my mental health.
The big decision I made at that point was to spend a semester studying abroad – something I always had wanted to do. At this time of my life, this was a really big deal for me and something very exciting and a little overwhelming. I made the decision almost a year in advance and it took time for me to go through all of the necessary steps – deciding the place, the program, the courses I could take, and all the other details required to make it a reality. Ultimately, no doubt in my mind, this was the best decision I ever made. It was an amazing feeling turning a dream into reality.
Of course, it was scary too. Four months in a foreign country? I hadn’t gone more than a few weeks at college without visiting home. I spent that whole year committed to learning Spanish. Despite my fears, I knew nothing felt more right for me.
Flash forward a year and a half later, graduating from college, I decided I wanted to work abroad after graduation. After feeling lost and uncertain for some time, and freaking out about what I wanted to “do with my life” I made the decision to go Thailand to teach English for 6 months (or more). Me, the girl with social anxiety, made the decision to literally travel to the other side of the world, in a place where I have no knowledge of the language, to TEACH (for the first time) a class of 30+ kids who don’t know English. Somehow things that at one point would have seemed entirely crazy became not only possible but realistic.
I always wanted to travel. I had never envisioned myself in Costa Rica, I had never envisioned myself learning Spanish. I definitely never envisioned myself in Thailand, and honestly, I had never envisioned myself as a teacher. Yet, the path toward my goals and my dreams seemed to lead me to make these decisions and led me to make unexpected choices. All of those choices were a part of my path – a path that I still am discovering and understanding. A lot of days, I’m still not sure whether I am going the right direction. No matter how uncertain I may feel, no matter how lost I may feel some days, I know that this is my path and that sometimes you need to get a little lost in order to learn and find your way back.
People seem amazed sometimes when I tell them I did these things, and sometimes I’m amazed too. They’ll say things to me like “I wish I could travel, or I wish I could do that but…”. My point is that if you really really want to, you can make it happen. Make a plan, take the necessary steps, and move toward that goal. If I can do it, you can too.
You don’t know anyone, you don’t speak the language, you don’t know whether you will make a good teacher, you don’t know if you’ll get homesick and miss your family and the comforts of home. You don’t know if you are brave enough, or if you have what it takes to make that jump. The question is are you willing to accept all of these uncertainties and unknowns and doubts and move forward toward your dreams, despite or rather BECAUSE of these uncertainties? Are you willing to make that terrifying, exhilarating jump?
My dream was to travel. Maybe your dream is entirely different from mine – changing your career field and following your passion, starting your own business, moving to a different country – whatever it may be. It really doesn’t matter what it is, my point is that going for that dream requires risk. The question is whether or not you are willing to take that risk.
There’s always going to be some excuse as to why you can’t do something. There’s always going to something holding you back. If you’re looking for an excuse as to why you can’t, you will ALWAYS find one… but all of the reasons why you CAN and why you should grossly outweigh the “reasons” you can’t if you really look. The question is whether you’re willing to leave the comfort of where you are now and gain the courage to move toward where you want to be, to do the thing you “always wished” you could do. The truth is the outcome is uncertain and you could fail. But if you don’t try, you’ll never even have a chance. The best things always come with a risk.
Take the risk. Make that jump. No regrets. No more excuses.
Making Mindful 