As an introvert, I’ve always cherished my alone time so I never quite understood the desire to be out and about with people all the time. Quite honestly, I love having that time to myself and I feel most energized when I’m immersed in something artistic or just exploring new places. Of course, I also enjoy spending time with friends and family members, and going out and doing things but I really depend on having that alone time.
Over the past few years, I’ve developed a lot of independence which all started when I made the decision to go after my dreams – and the biggest part of being able to do that was deciding to do it on my own. For me, the biggest thing that I always wanted to do was to travel – and that was something I decided to do on my own. Anytime I tell people about backpacking or traveling alone, people say things like “I could never do that” or tell me how brave I am. I didn’t see myself as that brave, because for me I was more afraid of never taking that chance than I was of doing it on my own.
I’ve found that no matter what it is, you’re not always going to have someone else there to do it with you. We all have hopes and dreams and desires and things that we want out of life. I’m sure we all have a million things on our bucket lists, and there are so many opportunities out there. If we wait around for somebody else to be there to do it with us, we will likely never get that chance. The longer we wait, the harder it becomes. If you really want something out of life, you need to do it. Don’t wait around for someone else. You always have that choice and that freedom. Being alone isn’t nearly as scary as you think, and the moment you learn to rely on yourself you will realize just how capable you are.
1. Empowers You
Most of us feel a sense of comfort in having someone by our side, someone to tag along with us to that dance class or running club or cross country road trip. Of course, it’s always great to have that friend that will try something new with us. However, we can’t always have someone that can do what we want or who wants to do the same things. We’re all different people and we all want different things out of life. Especially as an adult, we’re all busy with our own jobs and schedules, and it’s hard to even make time for ourselves let alone others. Once we start being okay with going places or trying new things on our own, we realize it feels pretty damn good. We change our perspective, and instead of letting our fears consume us, we are open to whatever the experience may offer. We build confidence and self-esteem. Even if we embarrass ourselves or feel incredibly uncomfortable, we know that we had the courage to put ourselves out there and try. And that is a powerful thing.
2. Changes Negative Preconceptions
So many people, myself included, are full of negative preconceptions about things. If we haven’t done something before or are unfamiliar with a place or people, naturally we are nervous. We don’t know what to expect, everything is uncertain, and that terrifies us… especially when we have to do it alone. Yet, as soon as we change these ideas in our heads we start to see things in a much different light.
Let’s say you’re going to a party where you don’t know anyone or joining a running group and feel out of shape or going on a first date with someone. You are nervous, and these thoughts run through your head…”who am I going to talk to at the party?” “what happens if I can’t keep up with the rest of the runners?”, “what if I embarrass myself?” Let’s shift that perspective… “what if I surprise myself and run really well?”, “what if I meet some really cool people and have a lot of fun?”, “what if I have great conversation and end up really liking him?”
Seeing things in this light changes the entire way things will go. You aren’t expecting the worst, you are just allowing life to happen and you are confident enough in you’re own skin to accept it. Okay, and even if the worst happens, at the end of the day, you’re going to survive. It’s not going to be the end of the world. And you are going to know that you put yourself out there, and did something that wasn’t easy for you, and you tried. That’s all that matters.
3. Opens You up to New Opportunities and People
When you try new things, or go out and do things that spark a little bit of fear in you, you are exposing yourself to countless new opportunities and things you never would have otherwise. Instead of staying in your little bubble of comfort or doing the same old things with the same old people, you are allowing yourself to do something different. You are exposing yourself to change. Putting yourself in the presence of new people and different situations allows you to think differently and consider different possibilities. Meeting new people and getting to understand different perspectives helps get us out of our own negative habits and patterns and think a little differently. Spending time alone allows us to become aware of things that we really want and explore new possibilities. It gives us the opportunity to experience something new and make us think differently.
4. Builds Mental Strength
For me, when I started meditating, it was the first time I allowed myself to truly be alone with myself. There were some days, a lot of days, that it was just really really hard to sit still and be with myself. It was really hard to stay present. The simplest thing, literally just sit and breathe – seemed to be the most difficult thing.
Meditation is a powerful practice of being alone with yourself. Even if you spend a lot of time alone, whether it’s just chilling watching some Netflix or reading a book, there are rare moments that we are actually able to just be – to simply exist.
Meditation taught me how to truly embrace the stillness and solitude because I actually had to be with myself – no distractions, nowhere to run. When you actually find the power to sit there with yourself, it’s an amazing feeling. It doesn’t have to be meditation, but maybe just going for a hike or taking a trip or even going to the gym on your own – being able to do that and push through the feelings of discomfort – makes you so much stronger mentally. Starting this process is a challenge, but the more we do it, the easier it becomes to do these things more and more.
Through gaining the courage to do things on my own, I’ve learned just how capable I am and have found myself doing things that once seemed absolutely impossible. I struggle with a lot of my own mental roadblocks, but at the end of the day I’ve realized that pushing myself to do things on my own has opened me up to so many opportunities I otherwise would have never had. The amazing thing is that we will continue to surprise ourselves. Some days my life doesn’t seem real, and I am so unbelievably grateful that I took the chances I have and went after my dreams despite any fears and uncertainties.
Making Mindful 