I don’t know about you, but for me, opening up has always been something of a challenge and something that takes some time. A lot of the time, I tend to be pretty closed off and keep a lot of things to myself. Sometimes it seems easier that way in this harsh world.
Closing off and Shutting Down
It seems that in our society today, so many of us have closed ourselves off from our emotions, from the real things, from the things that matter. It feels like society has turned us into these machines. We just keep doing things that we think we’re supposed to, keeping ourselves busy, constantly moving. It starts to feel like so much of the time is spent pretending. Are the things we are doing things that actually matter or are they just filling our time? Are we being the people we really want to be? Are we being true to who we are and really seeing one another? Sometimes it’s hard to find that balance between our truth and society’s expectations of us.
What’s Real?
It seems hard to find genuine people or that sense of genuineness in the world – and that’s no surprise, considering the way the world works. We’ve adapted to this kind of life. We’ve gotten accustomed to putting on a show for everyone. Most of the time, we don’t know what people are really thinking. We don’t know what’s real. At least out there in the world, everyone’s busy with their lives and no one seems to have a moment to look beyond themselves. It’s hard to place blame for that. The world has roped us into this way of thinking, and we’ve become accustomed to this kind of mindset. We’re competing, trying to be the best, but what are we even working for?
Everyone’s talking all the time, we feel this need to be in constant communication and to know everything that’s going on in everyone’s lives, whether it’s in-person or digital. With social media and texting, we’ve gotten so used to being constantly aware of these sorts of things. In reality, we’re only seeing a small fraction of reality – the things that people want us to see. Maybe we’re trying too hard to show that we’re doing well because we feel like we need to prove ourselves.
At the end of the day, are we talking about things that actually matter? Are we really communicating and listening to one another? Are we even able to?
What We Show the World
There always seems to be this gap there. We’re all afraid of being too genuine or caring too much or showing too much or just being real with one other. We think we need to put on a show, we only can show the good parts, the happy glamorous moments. What we choose to show the world doesn’t change the way things actually are. It doesn’t take away the difficulties and the pain, and it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with those things. Most of the time, we’ve decided it’s easier to shut ourselves off from our emotions. It’s scary to be real, it’s scary to put ourselves out there because that requires dealing with those uncomfortable emotions. Anytime our emotions are involved, that means there’s a chance of getting hurt.
We’re afraid of coming across as “too emotional” for having feelings or for talking about them. We feel forced to keep things to ourselves. I know that I’ve always felt like I needed to keep things to myself – when I’m feeling down I always feel like I need to deal with it on my own. It’s unhealthy to push down our feelings, hide them or run away from them.
We’re Not Alone
Something I’m discovering more and more is that we don’t need to keep all of this to ourselves. Believe me, I know it may feel like that a lot of the time. We’re all dealing with things, and we all struggle sometimes. Yet, we realize that we don’t need to be on our own. It can be hard to find the right people, to find people we are comfortable enough with to truly share ourselves with, but once we do it can be a very powerful thing.
Especially for those of us who have been let down or hurt by people we love, it can be a challenge to truly open ourselves up again. Opening up requires strength and bravery, and not everyone has the strength to do so or even to listen in the way we need. We all find our people, we find those people we can open ourselves up to, and those who are meant to really know us. Once we do, we realize we’re not so alone after all. There’s strength in really knowing other people, and letting ourselves be known.
Building Wholehearted Connections
When we start to open ourselves up to others, we give ourselves validation and we allow ourselves to be real and connect wholeheartedly with other people. I’ve always found it hard to find the kinds of people who I can connect with in that way, but gradually I’ve found the people with whom I can create those meaningful relationships. Having these people, even if it’s just one person, we are able to share who we are and understand others. We start to relate to people more and build meaningful relationships. We are able to learn so much from each other, and discover the people we are meant to be.
It’s never been something that’s easy for me, and I’m sure many can relate. It’s not easy to do especially in a world that prides itself on appearances and competition. It’s not easy to share, to expose our wounds or the parts of ourselves that aren’t perfect. At the end of the day, our society is bringing us further and further apart.
Recently, I’ve been reminded that genuine people are still out there. I’ve been reminded of the beauty in allowing ourselves to be open to ourselves and to others, to come out of hiding. I think there’s a sense of basic humanity in being able to share who we are and be genuine with one another despite all obstacles in our paths.
We need to keep forming those genuine connections. We need to keep making the time to get to know each other, to care for each other, to love each other wholeheartedly. Knowing each other helps us know ourselves. Opening our hearts allows us to learn and grow into the best versions of ourselves. Let’s not forget the power of being truly open and loving one another.
Making Mindful 